To Frame or Not to Frame

The last one year i noticed a growing trend in the "frame area", which i will describe simply as Incorrect and far from beautiful.
The frame has a rich and long history in couple dances, and this topic had been studied on a academic level by experts/masters from around the world, especially in the last 130 years.

The frame is also called an "embrace" (beautiful word isn't it) 
Not many places in 
your life you can actually meet someone for the first time, hold each other close inside your embraces for so long, feel the heart beats, and move as one in harmony.

If you are a gentleman, and you invite a lady for a dance, you offer your hand in which she responds Yes or No, and offers her HAND back. She will never offer her WRIST or ELBOW, yet many dancers, even teacher, tend to in this new "trend" to hold the lady in these 2 areas --> WRIST & ELBOW.
In all my years of dancing, i never saw before this until now, but i did see these 2 spots amongst martial artists for attack & defense, and the police when they arrest you and put your hands behind your back 🚨

I asked a few times in EU and Asia a few guys who were dancing like this, why they use this hold, and the answer was similar from most which is "I can Control her easier like this for the moves i wanna do".
My answer and suggestion to all dancers/teachers who think like this is

♫ Take more classes/workshops with a Good teacher. A teacher who leads with a beautiful frame and who can teach you how to use it well (there are many good ones to choose from, teachers and frames/holds) while he is using the whole body and core to lead the partner and not his "strength" by moving the hands too much and focusing most of his energy in that.
Ladies who say they don't mind him holding her there, you need more classes too.

♫ The amount of tension of that frame, the better you get the lower is it's sensitivity, yet always present, reaching almost a mind reading energy flow moving through the frame and the whole body.

♫ The hands are newer too soft and spaghetti like, or too strong like a wrestling match. Be gentle to your partner and let your frames breath and be also flexible in it's position.

♫ Ladies be confident and tell your partner if he is holding you too tight, or if he holds you in these 2 areas or anywhere else where it feels uncomfortable.

♫ Gentleman if you wish to make the lady move, "move yourself" first and not the frame.

♫ If you ever saw a beautiful painting in a museum, did you ever see the frame and how much details is put into into it?
The purpose of that beautiful frame around the canvas is to show the glory of that amazing painting.

There is a lot.. for me a life time of work and knowledge to constantly improve the frame and the dances we do, but we gotta start from our selves and the elementary foundation of it all.

I said it before and i will say it again
"Basics are the first thing we learn, and the last thing we master"

Good night everyone
Nemanja Sonero